ScootScoot
by Effective Immediately
Summary: There's a time when a medic's got to do what a medic's got to do. Of course, that's just a big fat excuse but who cares?


BitchyWittles gasped, spitting out blood from her already dripping mouth. She could hardly breathe at the moment, the bullets in her chest very, very fresh, as well as the burns that were tapering out. Her whole body was shaking like a stick in the wind and her mind was in panic mode at that moment.

She didn't feel like fighting anymore today, it'd been a long day already and she was worn right out. All she wanted, was someone that was actually good at fighting to hide behind while they made the BLUs go away. She was desperate now, all the career soldiers had already left for that day and rotated to other maps and she'd noticed way too late that her team was now full of lies.

There was no overabundance of spies and soldiers, but the amount of Soldiers that couldn't aim, Demomen that didn't sticky trap, and Heavies that couldn't look behind them time and time again was currently phenomenal. It'd gotten so bad that she'd switched secondarys, hoping to alleviate some of the heavy fire that their team was now suffering under. Surely if she couldn't keep everyone overhealed and pop a proper uber to push forward, she could at least keep her team healthy enough that they may just cap forward by accident.

ANYTHING.

But as it was, that had also failed. Her teammates didn't want to stick together, so the healing was spread too thin to actually make a difference. In the end, the Heavy she'd been trying to keep alive long enough to kill the demoman had died to a backstab and she'd ran off around the corner, hopping up some rocky terrain as fast as her legs would go, which was pathetically slow right then. There were two extra messages that went off as she ducked behind a large rock, staining it with blood.

Under BLUs Japanese^Panties backstabbing REDs Tyrone12Gude, there was also BLUs HumptyDumpty axtinguishing REDs JohhnyBluff, and REDs W3stlyShak3s being killed by his own lvl 1 sentry, which was then machine gunned down by BLUs iVantheterrible and LaffyTappers. And then BLU capped that point, five men large.

It didn't matter anymore though, because she just wanted to live. And then preferably hide. Hide until the nightmare of a round was over and she could just LEAVE.

And then the rocket came, hitting the wall in front and she screamed, hopping from her safety rock in one last desperate attempt to avoid respawn. There was a flash of RED in the swarm of BLU, and BitchyWittles hooked onto it like a lifeline, not bothering to pull out a real weapon while fleeing. Her momentum caused her and said RED to go careening under the bridge and into the dirty moat, but not before she popped uber. The same she'd been saving for that heavy.

All the pain left in a heartbeat and she clawed in the water, trying to surface for air now after the amazing leap of fail and win. Her mind was clear enough to properly understand her teammate who was swearing left and right, trying to get her hands off of him and failing.

Of all the...a scout? Really?

Well whatever, she'd take what she could get right now. "What the hell are ya doing down here, dumbass medic. Fucking, I HAD them. Goddamit, let me go!"

She didn't answer, too busy keeping him in a death grip of life, flinching when she could hear more explosions from above. It was curious enough that they'd not followed both down here, but then BitchyWittles got a look at the water and the two floating bodies that were occupying it along with them. The apparent result of her quickfix uber actually being put to use. A quick check of the score showed her assists with JustinYieberSuks shooting both PeachFuzzers and Kermit in quick succession.

The scout seemed to have finally noticed as well, quickly reevaluating who he'd been so intent on verbally ripping apart a second ago. He muttered a quick thanks, intent on running off again but BitchyWittles wasn't having it. Nope.

Now fully healed once more, and still running on adrenaline, she quickly hooked back onto JustinYieberSuks and felt the speed increase as she doggedly followed him over the bridge and up some stairs where he was busy reloading his scattergun. He turned around, noticing the glow on his body and just stared at her like she was slow.

"What the hell are you doing? Go heal a heavy or something. We're not even capping, we need defense..."

She could have told him to switch classes if he wanted more defense. She could have told him that their engies were jokes. And every other heavy duty class she'd healed thus far had only succeeded in getting them both killed. But that took effort.

The Medic simply shook her head at him. BitchyWittles didn't care if they heard her in chat any longer. She was too tired to keep being polite over incompetence, but she was also too tired to elaborate. And elaborating usually got you killed, people were dicks that way.

She did hope he'd just shut up though, pocketing a scout was not exactly a stellar move and would probably end in failure and laughs.

He turned around just in time to dodge another rocket headed for them, with BitchyWittles hiding behind the corner and on a barrel from the explosions as the scout ducked out from behind the wall to deliver meatshots to the BLU soldier, who BitchyWittles could now hear crying out from impact. JustinYieberSuks had gotten hit twice already, one by splash and another lucky shot right in the face. Yet the soldier went down in a matter of seconds as the scout stood there breathing, his health topped in a quarter of the time it'd taken to kill the other.

There was a glint in his eye and a smirk on his face now.

"New plan, medic. Stick with me."

With pleasure.

It was a testament to her expertise of running away that she was even able to keep up with him. His routes were both logical yet utterly high risk, some seeming just there for show. Still, he'd stop if the connection broke for longer than a second, a tiny reprieve of its own as the match wore on.

By the time they'd jumped over a high fence, she had another uber ready and popped it as they landed, sparing her the damage to her legs and earning them both another kill, this time a BLU engie. JustinYieberSuks held up a hand, pushing her away from the open hallway, and instead running around the building the BLU had come out of. "Sentry ahead!"

She looked back at it forlornly, taking out a nest was part of the job description after all, but that soon passed as they encountered a heavy. He had a second to stare at the two before getting struck in the face with a ball, then jumped upon and batted to death bloodily. All the while taunted mercilessly before being tea-bagged briefly.

A weird feeling filled BitchyWittles' stomach at that moment, and she had time to reflect upon this feeling while running circles around everyone as they tried to shoot the scout and then her, only to get shot by him and turn their attention again. As BLUs Kermit died to his rocket blasts she finally recognized what it was, because the grin on her face was beginning to hurt and she was already close to taunting the soldier herself as her scout finished off the Pyro.

This was just _fun_.

"Medkit this way, doc! Let's _go_!"

The feeling was almost foreign to her. Sure, she enjoyed playing matches and more than enjoyed victory, but the competition and grind didn't match this in any way. It was bubbly almost and she suspected she looked stupidly giddy right then.

They kept circling back, finishing all the people from behind their current bases and taking out anyone who straggled. It was almost vulture like and the announcements were now a joy to read instead of a pain.

BLUs McFuckles and LaffyTappers machine gunning REDs [AF] Gilbird.

REDs JustinYieberSuks and BitchyWittles finishing off BLUs LaffyTappers

REDs JustinYieberSuks and BitchyWittles scattergunning BLUs McFuckles.

REDs W3stlyShak3s' lvl 2 Sentry gunning down W3stlyShak3s as he wrangled it.

BLUs Japanese^Panties sapping REDs W3stlyShak3s' dispenser and sentry.

BLUs Japanese^Panties stabbing REDs W3stlyShak3s' tele.

REDs JustinYieberSuks and BitchyWittles batting BLUs Japanese^Panties.

REDs Freeman cabering BLUs The Guy Behind the Guy.

REDs Freeman grenade popping BLUs Rainbow Dash.

REDs Freeman finishing himself off.

REDs JustinYieberSuks and BitchyWittles scattergunning BLUs Gabe Newell.

By the end of the round which they'd lost, BitchyWittles was still laughing over her last uber, where the BLU soldier had actually retreated when he'd seen her pop it on the scout he'd been trying to kill for the whole match. She turned to JustinYieberSuks who'd spawned behind her, finally deeming it an okay time to stop and speak. Only one thing was important enough to be said.

"You're my new favorite and I love you."

"No homo?"

"ALL the homo."

He stretched and checked his pulse, changing his name to JustinConquerorofYiebers as their team left spawn, a few staying behind to jump around. "I am okay with this."


End file.
